5 Lights Academy

Three years ago, COVID-19 affected my health, my mother’s health, and changed the world around us.

As a part of recovery, everyone we knew, coped in different ways. Mom and I had quarantined for a while. It was starting to get a bit too claustrophobic, but then, suddenly, out of the blue, an invitation came that changed everything.

My cousin called to invite us to her Bangladeshi Bollywood themed wedding. We had not been to Asia in years. We went on the trip expecting a temporary reprieve and a reunion with extended family. What we did not expect is that this trip would have a twist. Along with attending the wedding in Bangladesh, we had a golden opportunity for a Sunscape to Nepal.

In Dhaka, after surviving torrential rain at my cousin’s outdoor wedding reception, news came that my return flight to the USA was cancelled too. I listened to my heart and accepted that this was a signal to get some solace after the storm.

My heart was set on a visit to the Himalayas. On every previous trip to Dhaka, I would try to go to Nepal but due to weather, was discouraged from flying out. This time, I was determined to see Nepal.

After reaching Kathmandu, we expected to have a short ride to the hotel. Expected is the magic word. Don’t expect anything to go as planned in Nepal, be ready for the very opposite to happen actually.

The road from Kathmandu to Nagarkot was like a never ending roller-coaster ride. We went bouncing in a tiny taxi that stopped three times for water because the engine was overheating. Nevertheless, while the ride up felt endless, once we got to the resort…the views from the Hotel Mystic Mountain were just breath-taking.

Mom and I woke up at the break of dawn to get a view from our balcony. That view was so peaceful—it will possibly remain my favorite Sunscape of all time. I felt at home up in those mountains. I had seen sunrise over beaches, over cityscapes, but this Sunscape was surreal. While on the balcony in the mountains, looking out at the miracle of nature in front of me, a realization dawned on me, like a cloudy veil lifting from over my eyes. It felt as if God was smiling and transforming me. For months, I felt fragmented and not able to figure out how to move forward with certain plans. COVID-19 had changed how I did planning. It scared me from thinking too far ahead. However, in that moment, the healing light of the sun came in such a way that I felt like He was not only mending the fragments that caused uncertainty but re-shaping me into something more beautiful from inside out like a glowing Kintsugi bowl. My role now was not just to plan logical goals, but do spiritual acts that aligned with my soul. My spiritual alignment, not just my mental alignment, became in sync, so to speak. I understood that with this transcending light mending me, I would be ready to not only receive His blessings but better share them with others.

Standing in that golden light, I was reminded of the great Sufi master Maulana Jalaluddin Rumi, who said: “I searched for myself and found only God; I searched for God and found only myself.” -Rumi

I went looking for solace, and God mended me with a healing Sunscape. Like the Japanese art of Kintsugi — where broken pottery is repaired with gold, making it more beautiful for having been broken — my soul was being remade. “Qad aflaha man zakkaha”: He has succeeded who purifies it (Quran, Surah Ash-Shams 91:9). The gold was always there. It just needed the light to reveal it.

I had looked for God in houses of worship, but He led me to find Him inside my own heart, and turned me into one of His giving bowls. In gratitude for the light He placed in me, I have turned more fully to His service.